Uniquely Singapore
The title of my post, for those non-Singaporean's amongst us, is the tourism board's slogan to attempt to lure unsuspecting tourists to this little island. Let me tell all you foreigners out there who, upon seeing this fantastic marketing slogan-no doubt the product of the top advertising minds from places as far flung as Changi and Jurong- might be tempted to fly out here and wantonly spend your money in Singapore: It is absolutely correct.
Singapore is by far the most unique Asian destination. It is the only place you can travel in the Eastern world that is completely and utterly BORING.
Let me say it again, for you chaps who may have missed that the first time.
SINGAPORE. IS. FUCKING. BORING.
Let me reassure you that this is not just the view of a Singaporean who lived here for the past 21 years of his life. I have here some quotations:
" Fuckin' hell, what is there to do here besides fuckin' shop, Sentosa, and fuckin' eat man?" - Aaron Calder, Australia.
" I've been here 3 days and I doubt there is anything more for me to do." - Rahul, India
" That's it?" Jennifer and Janet Maulen, USA
" Fuck this. I'm moving to KL" Sim, neo-Malaysian.
I arrived in Singapore on Thursday at 1:20 am, by 8pm on Friday I was ready to leave. Having had 6 good meals in Singapore, a couple of cups of teh tarik, walked down Orchard Road, and driven /past/ Sentosa ( I mean seriously, who really goes to Sentosa for anything but the man-made beach anyway?) Singapore and I were ready to part ways. There's something seriously lacking in Singapore. It's the lack of...depth, of genuine culture. Not that made-for-tourist rubbish you see during the "festivals". Real culture. From where I'm standing, Singapore is just a great collection of shops and restaurants.
" But Nick! Singapore is Clean and Safe too!"
Well I guess if that's what you're looking for then you can quite easily find a bit of Singapore no matter which country you're in. Just hop in your car and take a little drive to the hospital! It's clean! Sterile, in fact... just like Singapore! If you stand on Orchard Road and take a really deep breath you can still smell the disinfectant. And if it's safety you crave, visit your nearest police post and bask in its warm glow.
Oh yes. If anyone starts spouting any rubbish about the local food being so incredible, wonderful, amazing, blahblahblah... Puh-lease! Have you BEEN to Malaysia recently? The local food, I swear to you, is much much better. To top it all off, it's cheaper as well!
If only it were feasible for my family to migrate. That is a lovely prospect, and one that is hopefully not too far in the future. Don't get me wrong... Singapore is a fantastic place to visit... for two or three days, but I wouldn't want to live here.
Singapore is by far the most unique Asian destination. It is the only place you can travel in the Eastern world that is completely and utterly BORING.
Let me say it again, for you chaps who may have missed that the first time.
SINGAPORE. IS. FUCKING. BORING.
Let me reassure you that this is not just the view of a Singaporean who lived here for the past 21 years of his life. I have here some quotations:
" Fuckin' hell, what is there to do here besides fuckin' shop, Sentosa, and fuckin' eat man?" - Aaron Calder, Australia.
" I've been here 3 days and I doubt there is anything more for me to do." - Rahul, India
" That's it?" Jennifer and Janet Maulen, USA
" Fuck this. I'm moving to KL" Sim, neo-Malaysian.
I arrived in Singapore on Thursday at 1:20 am, by 8pm on Friday I was ready to leave. Having had 6 good meals in Singapore, a couple of cups of teh tarik, walked down Orchard Road, and driven /past/ Sentosa ( I mean seriously, who really goes to Sentosa for anything but the man-made beach anyway?) Singapore and I were ready to part ways. There's something seriously lacking in Singapore. It's the lack of...depth, of genuine culture. Not that made-for-tourist rubbish you see during the "festivals". Real culture. From where I'm standing, Singapore is just a great collection of shops and restaurants.
" But Nick! Singapore is Clean and Safe too!"
Well I guess if that's what you're looking for then you can quite easily find a bit of Singapore no matter which country you're in. Just hop in your car and take a little drive to the hospital! It's clean! Sterile, in fact... just like Singapore! If you stand on Orchard Road and take a really deep breath you can still smell the disinfectant. And if it's safety you crave, visit your nearest police post and bask in its warm glow.
Oh yes. If anyone starts spouting any rubbish about the local food being so incredible, wonderful, amazing, blahblahblah... Puh-lease! Have you BEEN to Malaysia recently? The local food, I swear to you, is much much better. To top it all off, it's cheaper as well!
If only it were feasible for my family to migrate. That is a lovely prospect, and one that is hopefully not too far in the future. Don't get me wrong... Singapore is a fantastic place to visit... for two or three days, but I wouldn't want to live here.
4 Comments:
Fuck this. Now I'm off to India!
Come back here and work on salaam !!! Email me soon ... miss ya, Jen x
I agree with that singapoer is really boring as I often host friends from around the world who visits.
I tell them that I would prefer to meet them in Malaysia instead.
yep singapore is boring.. but boy, we dont host dorks like you people :)
Post a Comment
<< Home