India's Secret Weapon
I'm not sure if many people are aware of this, but India has been secretly training what must be the largest and greatest fighter pilot squadron in the world. You heard me. India has been secretly training a group of crack pilots that make the American look like a bunch of turds riding piggy-back on a camel.
And who are these talented young men?
Auto wallahs: Top Gaan, yaar.
Auto-rickhshaw drivers have the reflexes of a turbocharged cat...on Speed. Zipping around in their tiny little machines of death, one wrong move would send them careening into one of the India's myriad of traffic deathtraps: Cows, Dogs, Cats, and People. I mean look at that bugger! He's even covered his windshield. No eyes required, it's the auto wallah 6th sense!
To many foreigners driving in India this will be the last thing they would see before being crushed into a mangled, messy pulp of bones and flesh:
Indians are very polite
Yet the auto wallah avoids them all with practiced ease. Just another day's training in the worlds most dangerous flight simulator, Delhi's Roads.
If ever an "Independence Day" style attack were to ever face India, Manmohan wouldn't have mess around with any finicky virus uploads or any of that shit. He'd just have to press a button and the Auto wallahs would fuck them up:
"Get me the Autorickshaw drivers"
"Ok Top Gaan Squad. Go fuck those Alien-kutta's up, Thiiiiiiiiiiik?"
"Haanji..."
"I am Shahrukh Khan. I will distract the Alien's with my stupid ass Aviator glasses while Top Gaan attacks! Challo!"
" Namaste, Bhenchodh."
That's it. Independence Day India in a 4 frame movie summary. Don't believe me? Drive in Delhi. I dare you. I double dog dare you...
I thought so. Pussies.
And who are these talented young men?
Auto wallahs: Top Gaan, yaar.
Auto-rickhshaw drivers have the reflexes of a turbocharged cat...on Speed. Zipping around in their tiny little machines of death, one wrong move would send them careening into one of the India's myriad of traffic deathtraps: Cows, Dogs, Cats, and People. I mean look at that bugger! He's even covered his windshield. No eyes required, it's the auto wallah 6th sense!
To many foreigners driving in India this will be the last thing they would see before being crushed into a mangled, messy pulp of bones and flesh:
Indians are very polite
Yet the auto wallah avoids them all with practiced ease. Just another day's training in the worlds most dangerous flight simulator, Delhi's Roads.
If ever an "Independence Day" style attack were to ever face India, Manmohan wouldn't have mess around with any finicky virus uploads or any of that shit. He'd just have to press a button and the Auto wallahs would fuck them up:
"Get me the Autorickshaw drivers"
"Ok Top Gaan Squad. Go fuck those Alien-kutta's up, Thiiiiiiiiiiik?"
"Haanji..."
"I am Shahrukh Khan. I will distract the Alien's with my stupid ass Aviator glasses while Top Gaan attacks! Challo!"
" Namaste, Bhenchodh."
That's it. Independence Day India in a 4 frame movie summary. Don't believe me? Drive in Delhi. I dare you. I double dog dare you...
I thought so. Pussies.
1 Comments:
Haha this post made my day. I hate Sharukh Khan, but he is the ubitquitous man of India. If anyone will save the Taj Mahal from exploding (i.e. think of the White House in 'Independence Day'), it will be him. With one big dishoooom.
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